Smiling at Work: Protecting the Quiet Joy Within

Smiling at Work: Protecting the Quiet Joy Within

“Why are you smiling?”

That question came from a coworker one ordinary workday. For a brief moment, I was dumbstruck. Then I said, “That’s my normal state of being. Is there an issue?”

He responded, “No.” But the question lingered.

It wasn’t asked harshly. It wasn’t confrontational.
But it still had weight. A tiny, almost invisible question mark aimed at something deeply natural to me.

🌱 A Subtle Undermining

Comments like these are small, but they linger. They have the power to make us question who we are, or how we express ourselves. It’s not always loud judgment—it’s the soft, subtle wondering: Should I be different?

That’s when I pause and ask myself:
How do I want to show up in the world?

Not based on trends, culture, or consensus.
But based on my truth. My values. My way of being.

💛 The Joy I Carry

Here’s what I know to be true about myself:

• I am deeply content when I’m alone.

• I’ve walked for hours with friends, exchanging few words, yet feeling profoundly connected.

• I once shared a hotel room on a long vacation with a friend—both of us reading quietly in the same space, perfectly at ease in shared silence.

• I’ve watched kids at a playground and smiled just at the joy of life in motion.

This is the rhythm of my life.
It’s calm. Rooted. Observant. Joyful.

And maybe that’s what shows on my face when I’m at work—this quiet peace, this grounded presence.

So when someone asks why I’m smiling, my answer is this:
Because that’s who I am. I carry joy with me. I bring it with intention. And I’ve decided not to change that.

✨ The Power of Owning Your Way

This doesn’t mean I ignore feedback.
But I’ve learned that not all feedback requires action—especially when it challenges something essential about who I am.

In fact, I once tried to curb my enthusiasm, just to see what would happen.
I intentionally softened my smile and muted my natural warmth in professional settings.

Then I asked a trusted colleague for feedback.
Their response? “You didn’t seem authentic.”

That hit me.
Because I wasn’t being authentic. I was editing myself to fit an imagined mold.
And in doing so, I lost the very quality that makes me most effective—as a leader, as a coach, a consultant, and a human being.

This joy I carry isn’t just personal—it’s instrumental.
It helps me build trust.
Open conversations.
Create calm.
Even find flow in the most repetitive work.

So now, I no longer second-guess it.
This is not something I need to fix.
It’s something I need to protect.

As long as you confirm that you're not inadvertently offending someone—
in my case, making sure no one perceives me as smirking or making fun—
there’s no need to change.
Intent matters. Awareness matters. But your core being? That’s not up for negotiation.

🛡 Protecting the Real You

When we try to twist ourselves to fit what someone else deems acceptable, we chip away at our own wholeness.
And we send a message—to ourselves and to others—that parts of us aren’t okay.

So now, I choose.

I choose to reflect on feedback with intention.
I choose to ask:

• Does this align with who I want to be?

• Is this change about growth—or conformity?

• Will this support or suppress my authenticity?

And if the answer is no, I let it go.

Because smiling at work isn’t the problem.
Losing yourself to fit in is.

💬 A Gentle Invitation

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too quiet,” “too upbeat,” “too intense,” or “too soft”—pause.
And ask: How do I want to show up?

Let the answer come from you.

🔍Reflection Prompt:
What part of you have you decided to protect—regardless of what others think?